Attention Employees: This is the CFO Michael of the Payday Loan Factory. I know I sent you a memo last week about procedures to follow when helping customers with their payday advance loan. But just in case you didn’t read that memo, or the one that I sent out the previous week, I’m going to go through the payday advance loan procedures on the loud speaker.
Payday Advance Loan Qualifying
As I stated in the memo, borrowers need to have certain characteristics before they can qualify for a payday advance loan. First, they have to have employment. Employment means they have a payday and get a paycheck. If they are not employed, they don’t get a payday; if they don’t get a payday then it is hard to give a payday advance loan.
Some of you have sent payday advance loan applications up to my office because the borrower has bad credit. Let me just say plainly that I don’t care if they have bad credit. These people are not applying for a brand new expensive home like mine. They don’t want to have a sports car just like mine. They just need a payday advance loan because they need groceries for the next few days until payday or they have to repair their 10-year old car. If the customer has really bad credit, try to sell him a bad credit payday loan, otherwise, feel free to pass them through.
Payday Advance Loan Repaying
A payday advance loan must be repaid; please tell your customers this. Set up an exact time, date, and amount so they don’t have any surprises from their payday advance loan like I did from the guys at the country club. You wouldn’t believe the kind of money that we spend there. When a customer takes out a payday advance loan, remind them that they are going to repay the amount of the payday advance loan, plus fees. We use these fees to pay you all your pittance salaries and so I can afford to put new mag wheels on my sports car. Just make sure that you collect– Hello? Who’s there? The door to my corner office is locked! Wait! You can’t come in here – I’m giving a briefing on payday advance loan procedu-
Payday Advance Loan Revolution
Attention Employees: This is Bob from the dock workers union. For those of you who have enjoyed CFO Michael’s endless rambling, please feel free to follow him out the dock doors. My fellow dock workers will be happy to assist you.
Otherwise, we’re changing some things. The days of people paying through the nose for these loans are over. Mr. CFO has been draining our customers long enough. From now on, we are going to offer a low fee payday loan with our payday advance loan. It’s bad enough these people have to beg for money just to make it to the next payday, but it’s even harder when we strap them with all kinds of fees.
Now when someone comes to get a payday advance loan, they are going to pay 10-20 percent in fees or interest. No more of this 30-50 stuff! It’s time for the workers to unite! We have to give our customers what they really want when the come in to get a payday advance loan!
By the way, in light of the revolution in our payday advance loan procedures, we are changing some other things as well. Linda in accounting, your SUV has been moved. It’s so big that it spills over the parking lines and you end up taking up three spaces. If you would like to know where it has been moved to, the dock workers suggest that you speed up the payday advance loan application process and get people through there quicker. They don’t want a fast payday loan they want an instant payday loan.
Oh, and if the boss is listening, we have washed your car for the last time. It should be sparkling clean in its new parking space. If you look behind the Payday Loan Factory, you’ll see a pond behind us….
The Payday
Loan Factory Recommends:
